Teen: "I'm having STRUGGLES."
Me: "What's wrong?"
Teen: "I need to do a five-page report on Joseph Stalin."
Teen: "I KNOW. I'm going to die."
Me: "Well, I think researching Stalin will put things in perspective for you."
A little while later, she came back up to the desk in an obvious attempt to put off doing her report.
Me: "Don't you have a report to write?"
Teen: "I DON'T WANT TO."
Me: "When is it due?"
Teen: *nods with shame*
Me: "Then you'd better stop STALLIN'!"
Teen: *blank stare*
Teen: "That was really cheesy."
Me: *nods with shame*
Can't win 'em all.