It's been a while since I did a "funny things kids say in the library" post, and there have been some real gems in the past couple of months. So here are a few of my favorite kid quotes, in no particular order, from kids of different ages and genders. (I apologize if you've already seen some of these on Twitter!)
1) "I lost my library card. My mom's going to KILL me. I'll be dead by tomorrow. Do you want to come to my funeral?" Well, at least she's not being melodramatic about it.
2) "I'll tell you the bad news." (Points to sister). "She has Bieber Fever and it's freaking me out." That makes two of us, kid!
3) "You're lucky it's Chinese New Year and I'm not allowed to say anything mean." You know, that does make me feel lucky.
4) "My mom says we shouldn't be alone in the library because we don't know what weirdo tricks are up in here." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it's probably good advice.
5) (To another kid): "I'm gonna suicide you!" That's, um, not really how that works.
6) "I need a book on Mozart. Do you know him?" I know I'm old, but I'm not THAT old!
7) "The more endorsements a pizza company has, the worse it tastes." Oddly wise for an eleven-year-old.
8) "I need to exchange these chess pieces because a boy licked his fingers and touched all of them." There's an interesting strategy.
9) (With a heavy sigh): "How do you get over LIFE?" If only we knew, child. If only we knew.
10) "I haven't been to the library in SUCH a long time. All the librarians look different. You look really weird to me!" Welcome back, kid.
11) "There's a song you should look up. Uptown Girl by Billy Joel." Me: "I know it!" *sings* Kid (surprised): "Grownups know that song?
12) "How do you spell 'America'?" I'm going to file this under reference-questions-that-sound-like-country-songs.
13) "Do you have a book about Snooki? I need it for school." - the kind of statement that makes me fear for the future of mankind.
14) A girl looked at Roald Dahl's books on the shelf and said: "Oh, cool. He copied the movies." Well, that's one way to completely horrify a librarian.
However! I will end on a positive note:
15) "I want to get a book about librarians because I want to learn all about you." Awwww. There is hope.
Until next time...have a great weekend!