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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Kid Quote Roundup

It's been a while since I did a "funny things kids say in the library" post, and there have been some real gems in the past couple of months. So here are a few of my favorite kid quotes, in no particular order, from kids of different ages and genders. (I apologize if you've already seen some of these on Twitter!)  

1) "I lost my library card. My mom's going to KILL me. I'll be dead by tomorrow. Do you want to come to my funeral?" Well, at least she's not being melodramatic about it.  
2) "I'll tell you the bad news." (Points to sister). "She has Bieber Fever and it's freaking me out." That makes two of us, kid!
3) "You're lucky it's Chinese New Year and I'm not allowed to say anything mean." You know, that does make me feel lucky.

4) "My mom says we shouldn't be alone in the library because we don't know what weirdo tricks are up in here." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it's probably good advice.  

5) (To another kid): "I'm gonna suicide you!" That's, um, not really how that works.
6) "I need a book on Mozart. Do you know him?" I know I'm old, but I'm not THAT old! 

7) "The more endorsements a pizza company has, the worse it tastes." Oddly wise for an eleven-year-old.
8) "I need to exchange these chess pieces because a boy licked his fingers and touched all of them." There's an interesting strategy. 

9) (With a heavy sigh): "How do you get over LIFE?" If only we knew, child. If only we knew.

10) "I haven't been to the library in SUCH a long time. All the librarians look different. You look really weird to me!" Welcome back, kid. 

11) "There's a song you should look up. Uptown Girl by Billy Joel." Me: "I know it!" *sings* Kid (surprised): "Grownups know that song?

12) "How do you spell 'America'?" I'm going to file this under reference-questions-that-sound-like-country-songs.
13) "Do you have a book about Snooki? I need it for school." - the kind of statement that makes me fear for the future of mankind.

14) A girl looked at Roald Dahl's books on the shelf and said: "Oh, cool. He copied the movies." Well, that's one way to completely horrify a librarian. 

However! I will end on a positive note: 

15) "I want to get a book about librarians because I want to learn all about you." Awwww. There is hope.

Until next time...have a great weekend! 


  1. Perfect way to start my day! Thanks!

  2. So sweet -- thanks for sharing! A few of those remind me very much of kids at my library.

  3. So, um, is there a book about librarians?

  4. Haha! These are great. I really hope that kid wasn't serious about needing Snooki's book for school--unless it's a class on what not to do with your life.

  5. Are you sure #15 wasn't a pickup line?

  6. This is fantastic! I'd love to be a librarian for a middle school. I'm sure I'd hear similar things there :P

  7. Ha! I should start writing down mine too. Just five minutes ago I witnessed a boy grab and carry 6 or 7 volumes from a "Mammal" encyclopedia set while repeatedly screaming to his friends "guys! I've got part of the library!"

  8. Great blog! =)

  9. I had a lady come in the other day and tell me that her daughter wouldn't read any book if she'd already seen the movie. It made me sad. Also, I'm pretty sure she'll be confused starting with the 2nd Percy Jackson book after seeing that movie.

  10. Hey Rita,
    I wonder if you have any thoughts on the current situation in Seattle Public Libraries (different coast, I know) where there is a large controversy re: folks able to view porn on public computers vs. people who think that's gross - Families with kids, etc.

    Just curious. Nice Blog!

  11. Ahahaha, these are too funny. Well, the second and third to last are a little scary, but the last one is definitely hopeful!