I know what you're going to say. "But clowns are scary! They haunt my nightmares! I accidentally saw Stephen King's 'IT' when I was a kid and it scarred me for life!" Full disclosure: I don't always buy it when adults say they are scared of clowns. I'm sure some people have a legitimate phobia, but I tend to suspect that other people think it's trendy or cute or whatever to say they fear clowns. (That is just my unpopular opinion. Feel free to argue with me!)
|C'mon! It's Tim Curry under there! Everyone loves Tim Curry.|
I saw many clowns that were, for whatever purpose, obviously intended to be chilling, hair-raising, or evil. However, the ones that made me understand the desire to rock in a corner while chanting "He can't hurt me. He can't hurt me..." were the ones that weren't even TRYING to be scary. Here is a sampling:
This is supposed to be a mask for you to cut out and wear. Have fun with that! You're sure to be the most popular person at the masquerade party! (And by popular, I mean arrested):
This guy can make you fear clowns AND astronomy:
I've nicknamed this clown "The Leprechaun from Hell." Hide your Lucky Charms, folks, 'cause he's after them:
|I wonder how his little hat stays on while he's CONSUMING HUMAN FLESH.|
And then there's this clown who is inexplicably wearing ill-fitting lederhosen. Side note: why is the concept of oversized pants supposed to be funny? It's not funny - or always legal - when REGULAR adults wear them.
Also, what the hell is he doing? Clownrobics? Is he an air traffic controller who does kid's parties on the side? Is he the "Y" in a horrifying version of "YMCA"? EXPLAIN YOURSELF, CLOWN.
Alright. I'm an equal-opportunity clown-hater. Here is my clown face masterpiece. Yes, this is what I will be using to teach the colors of the rainbow to the youth of Brooklyn. This is how I intend to promote literacy and encourage children to come back to the library for years to come. I am proud of my work. I AM NOT ASHAMED.
|Just kidding, I am totally ashamed.|
In conclusion: if you tell me you're afraid of clowns, I might believe you now. (But only if you attended my story time.)
Edit: my friend Sean Ferrell sent me a study on why children fear clowns, which makes total sense. And I was informed that my mother also has an alleged fear of clowns because she once threw up at the circus as a child or something. So, yeah. I'm still not convinced that EVERY person who has ever said they're afraid of clowns actually IS afraid, but I am finding the stories to be interesting. Share yours if you'd like!